An Arranged Encounter

Welcome back to 'The Male Mind: Unfiltered,' where we explore the complexities of the male mind and relationships. Today, I am excited to share with you a very thought-provoking experience. Last night, I had a dream about meeting a potential life partner for the first time. It's been a while since I've shared my personal experiences, but I am eager to hear your thoughts and see if you can relate to my story.

Looking back at my dream made me realize how complicated a relationship can be and how complex the male mind is, in all its mysterious ways. So, let's journey through the details of my dream and see what that may say about my own wants, fears, and expectations for a life partner.

I'm very open to your views and comments; please don't wait before saying something. Let's start this journey of self-discovery and exploration together!

The place was a small cozy restaurant warm enough to cover every occupant, low lit with more red colors. As I make my way slowly to the cafe after the culturally heavy day with so-so gaiety, where a tea cup was raised to everyone’s ears but not one was drunk, it fills me both with anticipation and apprehension. This was the first meeting of a prospective partner for an arranged marriage. And man, it came packed with so many emotions and insights that it shall take a while to decompress.

While taking deep breaths i rushed this was no ordinary dinner – it was my first meeting with a potential life partner, brought together by our families through the tradition of arranged marriage. And in like a snap i was at the table, Opposite to me, was a young glowing girl wearing an Indian ‘suit’ around her this th way round hospitably clothed neck. And here I was in a t-shirt and jeans outfit, though perhaps feeling a bit underdressed because of the ‘suit’ culture, but still willing ready to face whichever came the situation.

In a stunning ethnic Indian attire, with a heavenly smile she offered me when I came to the table. "Hi, I am Trivender," I said choking my voice. "It's such a pleasure to meet you,” said she in her sweet welcoming voice. “Do please sit down.” A few more polite formalities were indulged in as we took our places, the oppressive burden of our families' hopes and aspirations dominating the atmosphere.

As we settled down to talk, really felt something calm in the air. I don’t know if it was just me, but there was a refreshing quietness in the atmosphere around us. There was no strain, no tension, no uneasy feelings – just two people, all right, getting acquainted and finding out the relevant information that would help them along the way.

We discussed everything from our financial goals to the household responsibilities and even the intricate web of family and friends who form our respective support systems. It was a very practical discussion on building life together, but it is much more than that.

It was those moments that made me appreciate the willingness to trust and open ourselves to one another. Here we were- two relative strangers- revealing our hopes, our fears, and our dreams - all for a shared end: to find out whether we could really build into a lasting, fulfilling relationship.

We began sharing personal information such as details concerning our past relationships, fears, and hopes for the future. "I have been broken before", she said, her countenance suddenly went blank. But I am optimistic that one day I'll find that special person for me.

I get that,” I said and leaned over the table to squeeze her hand. “But I do believe that when two people decide to do something, a beautiful outcome can be reached albeit starting with some meeting that was arranged."

She smiled, looked me straight in the eye, and it felt electric. In terms of how we view families, the division of labor, and the social life, I was quite surprised by how many things we agreed on as we were engaging in this conversation.

"I care about having family bonds, but I also wish to build our own as a unit,” she made a comment. “It’s a fine line to tread, but one I will strive to accomplish.”

“Of course,” I responded. “And I think it is good that both of us have our own set of friends and activities as well. That way, we can present ourselves to the relationship and not just operate as one entity."

The discussion was engaging and I noticed that I was feeling more and more at ease. This was not merely a business meeting, but a conversation between two people eager to learn more about each other.
And as I scrutinized the woman across from me – her orbs glistening, anxious yet sincerely curious – I understood that in fact, it was not that simple. This was not just a box to be ticked but rather a meeting, with all the possibilities that come of it. A chance to connect, to understand each other and lay the foundation of a bond that could however take time before full bloom.

Naturally, I understand that the future is not devoid of difficulty. There will be obstacles, sacrifices and some tranquillity will be required from time to time. However, in that nice little eatery, under the softened lights and the melodious chatter all around, I sensed optimism and opportunities which I had not factored.

For at the end of it all, this is what an arranged marriage comes down to, right? The couples are not giving up their autonomy and individuality but are instead beginning the process of finding each other, that is building their own lives in a harmonious way while staying true to their cultures and values as well as the nature of every relationship which is transformation.

I stood up, ready to leave as the sun disappeared over the horizon, amazed by a warmth I had not expected. “Thank you ever so much for a wonderful evening,” I said to her, meeting her eyes. “Looking forward to seeing you again very soon.”

“Then it’s all mine,” she said, flashing me her bright grin. “I think we did okay today. How about next time?”

I grinned by the moment and shook my head, of course. “Yes, yes. Let’s do it again. Until next time.”

Of course, I knew there was no easy road to follow. There would be barriers to cross, adjustments to make, and a great deal of uncertainty, but there at that cozy restaurant between the warm glow of lights and the gentle hum of conversations, I felt hopeful and possible in ways I never really did.

Because it is in that ending that the core of a marriage of convenience lies – to lose not oneself but rather to engage in a process of learning how to lose oneself and how best to combine their lives with one another, how to appreciate the other’s mores and customs and in the midst of it all create something worthwhile.

Deciding to go into detail regarding this first meeting particularly prompts the feelings of thankfulness. Thankfulness about meeting someone new, about exploring the possibilities of creating a future together. Thankfulness about the courageous openness offered on both sides in good faith. And most of all, thank you for reminding me that the journey of love has no standard but rather an array of individual experiences that fit together beautifully.

And as for the rest of you, regardless of whether you are starting your own arranged marriage journey or are simply interested in the whole process, I would say this - do not be afraid, go give it a shot with your heart, with your ears and with your eyes, and finally, with the appreciation of everything that happens in between two people striving overcome all in order to create a common future together. The way is not straightforward or simple, but I think the effects will be enormous, almost transcendental.

That's it for now, everyone! This was just a glimpse of my dream. Have you ever met someone in a similar way, or do you think you might soon? I’m eager to hear your thoughts and experiences with the arrangement system. Please feel free to share any insights in the comments!