Monday, July 28, 2025

Why Men Think in Legacy & Women Live in Moments

Abstract Men, Objective Women — Why We See the World Differently

There’s something beautiful about the difference between men and women — not just in what we want, but in how we see the world.

Men live in abstractions.
Women live in experience.
And both are necessary.

Let’s not pretend we think the same.

The Mall vs. The Mind

It’s Saturday.

Your girlfriend says, “Let’s go to the mall.”
She wants an activity. Something real. Tangible.
Shopping. Eating chaat. Trying on clothes. Sharing laughs. It’s a moment she can touch.

You, on the other hand, want to chill.
But what does that mean?

Nothing. And everything.

You want to lie on your bed, eyes on the ceiling, mind drifting off to ideas like greatness, legacy, purpose, or where the hell the sun even came from.

She wants a day.
You want a feeling.

This is the male-female polarity in its purest form.

Men Are Abstract Creatures

Ask most men what they really want out of life, and you’ll hear abstract words:

  • Legacy
  • Greatness
  • Peace
  • Purpose
  • Honor
  • Discipline

These aren’t things you can touch. You can’t buy legacy. You can’t take purpose out to dinner. You chase them, build toward them, sacrifice for them — often without even knowing why.

This is the male condition. It’s what drives men to isolate, to dream, to obsess over "useless things" like philosophy or space or time or meaning.

To sit alone on a balcony and think?
That’s not nothing. That’s fuel.

Women Are Objective and Present

Now flip the script.

Ask a woman what she wants today, and she’ll likely say:

  • “I want to go out.”
  • “Let’s watch something.”
  • “I feel like eating chaat.”
  • “Let’s meet friends.”
  • “Let’s book tickets.”

Notice the pattern? It’s all anchored in experience. Not because she lacks depth, but because she values presence. Her joy comes from engaging with the world as it is, not wrestling with things that may never come.

She’s not sitting there asking, “What legacy will I leave behind?”
She’s asking, “How can we make today fun?”

And she’s right — in her own way.

This Is Why We Work

The beauty is not in sameness.
It’s in complement.

You — lost in abstract thoughts about who you want to be.
Her — pulling you back to actual life and asking, “Can we go eat chaat now?”

And guess what?

You need it.

Because your greatness doesn’t mean much if you can’t enjoy the life you’re building.
Your legacy will be hollow if no one remembers how you smiled on a Saturday.

And she needs you too.
Because she gets to feel something deeper than food or fun. She gets to feel your vision. She gets to be part of something that outlives the moment.

Final Thought

We often argue about love languages, lifestyles, compatibility.

But sometimes, it’s as simple as this:

  • Men want to feel lost.
  • Women want to feel alive.

And when those two forces meet — when his vision grounds itself in her reality — you get something rare:

Balance.

That’s the real relationship.
And the real challenge is appreciating the difference — not resenting it.

So next time she says, “Let’s go to the mall,” don’t roll your eyes.
You were just sitting there wondering what life’s about anyway.

Now you know.
She’s calling you to live it.


Only on The Male Mind Unfiltered — where we talk about what men actually think, but rarely say.

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Saturday, July 26, 2025

Who Should Love More — The Man or the Woman?

We all love the idea of balance.
Balance in effort. Balance in emotion.
And yes — balance in love.

Ask anyone, “Who should love more in a relationship?” and you’ll get the politically safe answer:
“Both. Equally.”

It sounds ideal. Fair. Symmetrical.

But strip away the romance, idealism, and motivational Instagram quotes — and take a long, honest look at human behavior, biology, and emotional realities — and you'll arrive at a much more uncomfortable, but arguably more accurate conclusion:

The woman should love more.


Before You Get Defensive...

Let me be clear:
This isn’t about domination.
It’s not about submission.
And it’s certainly not about placing more value on one gender’s love than the other.

This is about balance — not in emotional volume, but in emotional risk, sacrifice, and staying power.


The Attention Gap

Let’s start with the most obvious — yet most overlooked — truth of our time:

Women live in abundance of attention. Men live in emotional drought.

A woman can open her phone or walk outside and be noticed, praised, flirted with, admired — daily.
A man? He could go weeks, months, even years without a single romantic glance, compliment, or meaningful touch.

This gap creates two very different psychological realities:

  • Women receive grace so often, they become numb to it.
  • Men receive it so rarely, they cling to it.

So when a man experiences genuine love — not attention, but love — from a woman he values, it hits like lightning. It becomes sacred.

But for a woman, company isn’t enough. Love must go deeper. It must move her. Consume her. Challenge her loyalty. That's when she becomes invested — not just emotionally, but spiritually.


The Nature of Betrayal

Here’s the controversial part, but it needs to be said:

  • Men can cheat and still be in love.
  • Women cheat only when they’ve emotionally left.

Why? Because male infidelity often stems from lust, emotional immaturity, or lack of discipline — not absence of love.
But for a woman, betrayal comes only after emotional detachment. Once she’s checked out, the door is already open.

A man’s love is flawed but persistent. A woman’s love, once real, is fierce — and loyal.

So what does this mean?
It means that in order to preserve the relationship — and protect it from emotional decay — her love must run deeper. It must become the moral center. The spiritual anchor.


The Risk of Love Isn't Equal

Let’s not pretend both genders risk equally in love.

The man protects. Provides. Leads.
He puts his resources, time, body, and future on the line.

In many parts of the world — especially the West — he also risks:

  • Losing half his assets in a divorce
  • Losing his children
  • Being disposable the second he no longer performs

He’s betting more.

So to balance the emotional economy, she must love more — not because it’s romantic, but because it’s logical.


When a Woman Loves More... Everything Changes

If he loses his job, she stays.
If he breaks, she holds him.
If he’s tested, she becomes the answer — not the exit.

Because she’s not there for what he gives — she’s there for him.

Her love becomes insurance against disloyalty, instability, and betrayal.
Not because she “should,” but because that’s how deep, real love manifests in a woman.


So What About Men?

If a woman wants to avoid being cheated on, the answer is simple:
Choose a man with discipline.

Character is the only thing that stops a man from cheating.
Not love. Not guilt. Not even fear.

Discipline. Integrity. Principle.

Because even men who love deeply can fall without it.

So the ideal relationship is built when:

  • She loves deeply.
  • He is rooted in discipline.

That’s when you get loyalty. Not because of rules, fear, or roles — but because of real character and real love.


Closing Thought

This isn’t about hierarchy. It’s about balance.
And sometimes, balance doesn’t mean equal weight. It means equal risk, value, and return.

So who should love more?

In theory, both.
In reality, if you want a bond that survives the storm — let her love more.
And let him be worthy of that love.

That’s not abuse. That’s design.

— Written for men who think, feel, and don’t fear the truth. Only on The Male Mind Unfiltered.

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Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Some Love Stories Don’t End. They Just Stay. — A Take on 96

There’s a certain kind of silence that only a heartbreak can leave behind — not the kind that’s loud and messy, but the one that just sits with you. Quiet. Heavy. And 96, the Tamil film directed by C. Prem Kumar, delivers exactly that kind of silence.

I watched 96 the other night.

And honestly? It didn’t feel like a movie. It felt like a slow bleed. The kind where your chest tightens, not because you’re seeing a tragedy unfold, but because it’s so damn real.

When Love Isn’t a Fairytale — It’s a Flashback

The story follows Ram and Janu — high school sweethearts who reconnect after 22 years. That alone sets the emotional tone. But this isn’t your usual “reunion turns into romance” script. Nope. This one hits different. This one is about what could’ve been, what should’ve been, but never was.

And that’s what makes it brutal.

Most movies wrap love in shiny bows — kiss, makeup, roll credits. But 96 doesn't hand you that luxury. Instead, it leaves you face-to-face with the uncomfortable truth: sometimes love doesn’t lose to hate… it loses to time.

The Anatomy of Unfulfilled Love

Let’s talk real for a second. We all have that one person. The one who got away. The one we still stalk online when we’re a few drinks deep. The one we imagine alternate lives with. That’s the territory 96 walks into — with unflinching honesty.

Ram never stopped loving Janu. Janu never stopped thinking about Ram. But life happened. Commitments happened. Timing failed them.

There’s this one scene where Ram just listens to her talk — eyes locked, expression unreadable — and you know every second is killing him. And he still doesn’t interrupt. Because that’s love too. The kind that doesn’t beg. The kind that hurts silently.

Why It Hits Home (Especially for Us Guys)

As men, we’re taught to be logical. Move on. Man up. Forget. But 96 is a reminder that we feel just as deeply — we just don’t always say it. Ram is the guy who bottled it all up. Didn't text. Didn't chase. Didn’t confess. Just carried her memory like a scar he never showed.

Sound familiar?

Yeah. Thought so.

Not Every Love Story Has to End with “Forever”

Here’s the kicker: 96 doesn’t blame anyone. There are no villains. Janu made choices. Ram made silence his comfort zone. And neither is punished for it. That’s what makes the story mature. Real love isn’t about possession — it’s about presence, even if it’s only in your memories.

Some love stories are complete because they’re incomplete. They’re etched in silence, in glances, in moments that never grew into anything more — and maybe that’s the point.

Final Thought

We don’t talk enough about unfulfilled love. The one that shaped us, changed us, and quietly became part of who we are — even if it never got a happy ending.

96 tells that story.

And if you’ve ever loved someone deeply and lost them to time, not betrayal — you’ll feel every second of it.


You ever think about the one that slipped through your fingers?

Yeah. Me too.

Drop your thoughts in the comments — or don’t. Some things, like some loves, are better left unspoken.

Written with a head full of flashbacks and a heart full of “what-ifs.” Only on The Male Mind Unfiltered.

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Monday, July 14, 2025

The Silent Weight: Why Men Don’t Talk About Their Struggles

Welcome back to The Male Mind: Unfiltered — where we peel back the polished layers and speak directly to the chaos, silence, and complexity inside modern manhood. No masks. No sugarcoating. Just truth.

Today, we're going deep into the epidemic of male silence — the kind that doesn’t scream, doesn’t ask for help, and doesn’t get headlines. But it’s killing us — slowly, invisibly.


"You good?"
"Yeah, just tired."

That’s the go-to phrase. Easy. Dismissive. Safe.
But behind those two words is the quiet collapse of modern manhood — happening in real-time

Behind those words is a man balancing expectations, regrets, debt, pressure, a failing marriage, a job he hates, dreams he abandoned, and emotions he can’t name.

And he’ll still show up tomorrow, on time, acting like none of it exists.


We Taught Boys to Be Strong — Then Punished Them for Feeling

The moment a boy scrapes his knee and is told "don’t cry," we start building the emotional prison he’ll live in for decades.
By the time he’s a man, he’s fluent in one language: silence.

Four Lessons Men Learn Early:

  • Emotions make you look weak.

  • No one really cares how you feel.

  • If you can't fix it, ignore it.

  • You're only as valuable as what you produce.

This emotional blueprint is passed down like a family heirloom.
Unspoken. Inherited. Deadly.

“Don’t be a burden.” That’s what most men hear before they ever speak.


The World Wants Strong Men — Until They Break

Society demands that men be stoic providers.
Be the rock. Be the backbone. Be the one who never falls apart.

But when men do fall apart?

  • They're called unstable.

  • They're laughed at or ignored.

  • They're told to "man up" or "get over it."

No space. No grace. Just judgment.

We don’t ask men how they are — we ask what they’ve done.

And when they stop doing? We stop caring.


What Silence Actually Looks Like

Not every breakdown is loud. Most are invisible.

Men don’t always cry. Sometimes they just stop laughing.
They stop showing up.
They get short-tempered.
They start avoiding calls.
They forget how to sleep.
They forget how to live.

They put on a good face because that’s what’s expected.
And when it finally becomes too much?
Everyone’s stunned:

“He never said anything.”

He did. Just not in words you wanted to hear.


Why Men Don’t Talk — Even When They Should

1. Talking Doesn't Feel Safe

Men aren’t just afraid of being judged. They’re afraid of being dismissed.

Say you’re depressed?
You’ll get a meme.
Say you’re overwhelmed?
You’ll get a productivity tip.
Say you’re tired of life?
You’ll get told to be grateful.

So they stop saying anything.

Men don’t want advice. They want to be heard.

But in a world that mocks male vulnerability, silence becomes the survival mechanism.


2. Their Circle Isn’t Built for Real Talk

Ask most men who their emotional support system is, and you’ll get blank stares.
Their “circle” talks about sports, cars, crypto, work. Not trauma. Not heartbreak. Not pain.

Real conversation? It’s too risky. Too raw. Too unfamiliar.

They joke instead.
They bury the hard stuff.
They suffer quietly — and call it normal.

He could be surrounded by friends — and still feel completely alone.


3. No One Teaches Them Emotional Language

Most men can describe how an engine works better than they can describe their own feelings.
Why? Because no one taught them emotional literacy.

  • Ask a man how he feels — he’ll say “stressed.”

  • Push deeper — he might say “fine.”

  • But behind that? Could be fear. Guilt. Shame. Hopelessness.

If you can’t name it, you can’t heal it.

So instead, they numb it:

  • With work.

  • With porn.

  • With drinking.

  • With overachievement.

  • With pretending.


The Fallout: High-Functioning, Low-Living Men

They look like they’re doing well.
Great job. Smart wardrobe. Clean haircut.
But underneath: they’re rotting.

High-functioning depression is the emotional cancer of modern masculinity.

It won’t show in photos.
It won’t ruin your meeting schedule.
It won’t stop you from holding it together — until the moment you can’t anymore.

And by then? It’s too late for check-ins and motivational quotes.


So What Now? Where Do We Go From Here?

We don't need more tough talk.
We don’t need more “grind” content.
We need real conversations.

1. Normalize Emotional Honesty

Stop calling vulnerability weak.
Stop mocking men who go to therapy.
Stop acting like feelings are optional.

Start showing men that being human is not a disqualification from being respected.


2. Redefine Strength

Strength isn’t silence.
It’s owning your story.
It’s asking for help when you need it.
It’s facing the storm — not pretending it doesn’t exist.

True strength is doing the hard work inside — not just lifting heavy things or paying bills.


3. Build Better Brotherhood

Men don’t need more friends who’ll “grab a drink.”
They need friends who will check in.
Friends who’ll ask the uncomfortable questions and listen to the uncomfortable answers.

“You good?” isn’t enough anymore.
Start asking: “No really — how are you holding up?”


Final Words: If You’re a Man Reading This

Here’s what you need to know —
You’re not broken.
You’re not weak.
You’re not alone.

You’ve just been trained to survive, not to feel.
To provide, not to process.
To carry it all — and never set it down.

But the truth is simple:

You don’t have to be in crisis to deserve care.
You don’t have to break to be heard.
You don’t have to do this alone.


If You Know a Man — Share This With Him

It might be the only message he sees all week that doesn’t expect him to perform, fix, or prove himself.

It might remind him he’s human — and that’s enough.


💬 Want more real talk like this? Bookmark this blog. Because we don’t just talk — we get into the stuff no one else will.



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Friday, November 15, 2024

Swipe, Ghost, Repeat: How Modern Dating Language is Killing Our Ability to Love

Welcome back to "The Male Mind: Unfiltered," where we explore various aspects of modern relationships and social dynamics. Today, we're going to talk about the modern dating dictionary. Although i am not an expert on this but when the topic is modern relationships who is ?

Since I initially dabbled in dating, a lot has changed in the dating scene. In the past, people would genuinely appraise their crush, wait a long time to confess, and then, if they weren't interested, just tell you—or at the very least, make up a nice explanation. Now, though? Even Shakespeare wouldn't recognize this completely new vocabulary of dating rhythms we're dealing with today.

Today's dating scene is very different. Simple phone conversations and handwritten notes are a thing of the past. The dating ecosystem is becoming more and more accepted with the advent of dating apps, endless direct messages, and a lexicon of dating habits like ghosting, breadcrumbing, zombieing, haunting, benching, cushioning, and submarining. We have created a completely new vocabulary for contemporary dating, where relationships are now started with a swipe and abruptly ended with silence. Convenient technical innovation gave way to a complicated network of behaviors that are gradually undermining our ability to form real emotional bonds. Let's reconsider these new dating jargons and see how it significantly affects our mental health.

The way phrases are used in modern romantic relationships are reminiscent of a Halloween tale. Each word refers to a conduct that, a decade ago, would have been seen as impolite or inappropriate, but is now accepted as a typical aspect of dating.

  • Ghosting: This is when someone abruptly and unexplainably vanishes from someone's life, leaving them in a state of emotional uncertainty. It's similar to disappearing into thin air and has become a popular way for those who don't want to have uncomfortable talks to get out of them.
  • Zombieing: It is a more extreme form of ghosting in which the person who ghosted you abruptly reappears, seemingly from the dead, without acknowledging their past absence.
  • Breadcrumbing: To keep someone interested without intending to pursue a serious relationship, this entails sending sparse yet flirty communications. The person is left in constant anticipation of more, frequently leading to confusion and dissatisfaction.
  • Orbiting: This is the practice of skulking around someone's social media accounts, like postings and articles, but avoiding direct interaction. They seem to be circling your life, present but not making a significant contribution.
  • Benching: When someone keeps you on the sidelines as they look into other dating choices, occasionally checking in to see if you're still interested but never committing, you can use this term.
  • Cushioning: Cushioning, like benching, is keeping a number of possible mates around as a safety net, creating the appearance of security without fully committing to any one of them.
  • Submarining: Submarining is when someone disappears from your life and then reappears later, as if nothing had occurred. It's like a submarine that goes under the surface and then suddenly comes back.
  • Haunting: Haunting is a softer version of orbiting that entails periodically interacting with someone on social media to maintain a spectral presence that conveys interest without actual communication.
  • Catfishing: The act of fabricating a persona on the internet in order to entice someone into a relationship under deceptive pretenses, which frequently results in emotional manipulation and betrayal.
  • Love Bombing: The process of overwhelming someone with excessive attention and affection early in a relationship to gain control or influence, often followed by withdrawal, creating an emotional rollercoaster.
  • Throning: This is treating someone as a tool to improve one's own public image rather than developing a true connection, essentially using them for social or status purposes.
  • FWB: (Friends With Benefits) Engaging in sexual activity with someone while maintaining a friendship devoid of emotional ties.

Despite their frequent funny usage, such words reveal significant trends that are affecting our capacity to build lasting connections. Dating apps give users the false impression that they have an endless number of replacements, which can cause "choice paralysis," in which people are unable to commit to any relationship because they are too preoccupied with finding the ideal one.

The psychological effects of these actions are substantial even if we may dismiss them as innocuous contemporary dating practices. The same parts of the brain that are triggered during physical pain are also stimulated when someone is ghosted. Continued exposure to benching and breadcrumbing erodes trust and causes anxiety in further connections. We are raising a generation of daters who fear commitment and desertion at the same time.

What is perhaps most worrisome is the self-reinforcing loop that these actions produce. We are more inclined to ghost others if someone ghosts us. Being breadcrumbed teaches us to be flexible and treat others the same way. Before relationships have a chance to develop, we are erecting emotional barriers. These practices are frequently excused by contemporary dating culture on the pretexts of "personal choice" and "setting boundaries." Personal liberty is important, but we've mistaken emotional intelligence for emotional unavailability. Establishing boundaries entails being honest about our needs and goals rather than considering others as expendable.

Many Indians find it more difficult to navigate these tendencies when viewed from a cultural lens. The subtleties of contemporary dating frequently interact with cultural expectations around family, tradition, and arranged weddings, resulting in a distinctive fusion of traditional values and modern dynamics. When ghosting, breadcrumbing, and orbiting go against cultural norms that value honesty, transparency, and deference, it can feel particularly annoying and insulting.

I've discovered that it's important to establish clear expectations and boundaries early on. I'm honest about my communication style and my desires when I start dating someone fresh. Additionally, I've learnt to spot the warning symptoms early. I pay attention when someone's communication style is erratic from the beginning, when they are unable to stick to basic plans, or when they appear more concerned with preserving a virtual relationship than a physical one.

Most significantly, I've realized that I shouldn't let these contemporary dating trends to make me feel less valuable. It's simple to become engrossed in the game of it all and begin scrutinizing each and every social media engagement, delayed answer, and read receipt. However, someone that values you will ultimately be transparent about their goals. You won't have to guess or cling to digital breadcrumbs with them.

Anyone navigating the dating scene nowadays should keep in mind that you deserve open communication and sincere connection. You deserve the entire loaf; don't accept breadcrumbs. There are lots of active, present individuals out there; don't go after ghosts. Additionally, avoid circling someone who is unwilling to meet you where you are.

However, being aware of these tendencies is essential to successfully navigating the dating scene today. It enables us to prioritize our self-worth, establish clear limits, and express our expectations honestly. In a relationship, it also pushes us to have tough talks about what we want and what we can't live with.

The language of modern dating might be complex, but your worth isn't. Keep that in mind as you swipe, text, and navigate your way through the digital age of love.

The normalization of emotional inaccessibility in contemporary dating needs to be questioned. Although dating has become easier because to technology, it shouldn't become any less significant. We must deliberately choose authenticity over avoidance, vulnerability over validation, and connection over comfort.

The next time you're tempted to keep someone on the bench or ghost them, keep in mind that each time we do these things, we're not only harming other people but also teaching ourselves to become less emotionally available. Breaking these behaviors and making the decision to date with empathy and intention is the first step toward lasting connections.

Are we ready to rewrite the modern dating dictionary? Can we create a new vocabulary that promotes emotional availability and genuine connection? The choice, as always, is ours.


Until next time, stay real and unfiltered.

[Note: This article aims to start a conversation. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.]

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Sunday, November 10, 2024

A Matter of Perspective: Are You Loved For What You Provide, Or Do You Provide Because You're Loved?

Welcome back to "The Male Mind: Unfiltered," where we delve into the complexities of relationships and the male psyche. Today, we're exploring a nuanced yet significant distinction that can make or break a relationship: the difference between "You're providing that's why you're my man" and "You're providing because you're my man."



The other day, I was talking with one of my friends when we came up with a really profound line that caused me to pause and consider the difference between "You are providing because you are my man" and "You are providing because you are my man."

Despite its subtlety, this distinction has a significant impact on how we perceive and value relationships. Let's dissect the two viewpoints and investigate how they may affect our relationship dynamics and emotional health.We frequently find ourselves in a cycle of giving and receiving in relationships, whether they are platonic, familial, or romantic. In exchange for our time, effort, love, and resources, we look for approval, consideration, and gratitude. Upon dissecting these interactions, we may question whether we are loved because of what we give or because of what we receive. This seemingly minor change in viewpoint can have a significant impact on how we view ourselves, how we approach relationships, and how we comprehend the harmony between selflessness and self-worth.

At the crux of this dilemma is the idea of motivation. Why do we give? Why do we sacrifice our time, energy, and resources for others? On one side, we could believe that our worth is related to what we provide to people around us. Whether it’s emotional support, monetary aid, or acts of compassion, we may link our value with what we contribute. In this view, love is conditional: You love me because I provide you something useful.

On the other hand, we may approach giving from a different perspective: I give because I am loved. In this situation, our actions of kindness, tenderness, or care are motivated by the security, admiration, and unconditional acceptance we feel from people around us. This type of generosity is driven by a sense of abundance—because we are loved, we are compelled to give back without fear of depletion or rejection. Here, love appears to be a renewable resource, flowing freely and effortlessly.

When we experience love that is mostly based on our contributions, we may naturally question if that love is indeed unconditional. Are our ties to one another founded on our actions or contributions, or are they a sincere admiration for who we are? When there is an imbalance in a relationship, this issue can be very challenging. We can believe that receiving affection is directly related to our capacity to satisfy particular demands or standards.

I remember growing up hearing phrases like "a real man provides for his family" or "women want a man who can take care of them." While these statements aren't inherently wrong, they can create a dangerous narrative that reduces a man's value to his utility. It's like saying, "I love you because you give me things" rather than "I love you for who you are."

The second perspective - "You're providing because you're my man" - flips this narrative on its head. It suggests that provision is an expression of love rather than a prerequisite for it. It's the difference between feeling obligated to provide to maintain someone's love and choosing to provide because you already have their love and support.

During a recent discussion with a friend, this distinction became more apparent. She emphasized how males are frequently conditioned by society to feel that their value is correlated with their capacity to give. "But that's not what real love is about," she said. Supporting someone because you want to, not because you have to, is a sign of true love.

Her words resonated deeply with me. I thought about all the men I know who work themselves to exhaustion, afraid that if they stop providing at the same level, they'll lose their partner's love and respect. It's a heavy burden to carry, this belief that you're only as valuable as what you can offer.

There is more than just financial or material pressure to deliver. It includes time, attention, emotional support, and a variety of other types of assistance. Men frequently believe that in order to be deserving of love, they must be successful, powerful, and steady. What occurs, though, if we are unable to live up to these expectations? Does it mean we are less worthy of love?

In actuality, true love isn't dependent on your ability to offer. It's about your own identity, including your heart, beliefs, and character. When you are loved, you are supported in times of plenty and times of shortage. They support you through your setbacks and rejoice in your victories.

This does not negate the importance of providing in interpersonal relationships. It really is. However, the driving force behind it is crucial. It comes from a position of security and choice rather than duty and dread when you give because you are loved. Instead of being a prerequisite for receiving love, it turns into an expression of it.

In my experience, partnerships that utilize providing as a gauge of love frequently end up caught in a vicious circle of anger and expectations. On the other side, partnerships that are more stable and gratifying are those in which both partners are confident in their love for one another, regardless of what they can offer.

Many guys find it difficult to move from the first to the second viewpoint. It necessitates shedding firmly held notions about value and masculinity. It entails acknowledging that we deserve love regardless of what we are able to offer. It entails realizing that our worth as partners goes well beyond our capacity to provide for our basic necessities.

This change in viewpoint has the potential to be life-changing. Men are more inclined to contribute freely and joyously when they feel appreciated for who they are rather than what they offer. Instead than burning out trying to prove themselves, they are more inclined to look after themselves. They are more likely to establish sincere, harmonious bonds based on respect and affection for one another.

So, I want you to think about your own relationships. Do you give because you already have love, or do you do it to get it? You might be surprised to learn more about the dynamics of your relationship from the response to this question.

What are your thoughts on this perspective? Have you experienced either of these dynamics in your relationships? Share your stories and insights in the comments below. Let's continue this important conversation about love, worth, and the complex dynamics of modern relationships.


Until next time, stay real and unfiltered.

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Wednesday, October 30, 2024

The Nibba-Nibbi Culture: A Controversial Internet Trend

Welcome back to "The Male Mind: Unfiltered," where we explore various aspects of modern relationships and social dynamics. Today we are going to address the hottest, and perhaps the most controversial, topic of the internet, or as they call it, the phenomenon of “Nibba-Nibbi culture, as some may argue. Considering this particular topic has gained traction among the youth in India, it is high time we analyzed this trend.

Let us start with the definitions. According to the internet, ‘nibba’ and ‘nibbi’ are internet slangs that have been made out of the word ‘nibba’, which is assumed to mean the N word, which is spelled and pronounced incorrectly. These words are used in a condescending way to address young, immature people or immature young couples.

The nickname 'Nibba-Nibbi' refers to the loving escapades of the young or younger adults that exhibit love to the extreme, even going overboard with shouts of love and more often than not lack of maturity. This has also been experienced to some extent with the rise of social media couples vying for exaggerated displays of their relationship and even more exaggerated affection. These couples therefore are usually depicted as foolish young lovers who imagine that they are the first people ever in the history of the world to fall in love so deeply.

This is the best part: Although such "Nibba-Nibbi" couples might be ridiculed, I think many people, in the core of their hearts, want to experience the same kind of love. It is only natural for one to look for closeness in another person, to be loved, and to love in as a correlate.

Most members of the population can relate to the intensities and passions of romantic love. It can be seen in films and read in texts, and many people often daydream of it happening to them. Nevertheless, if it is excessive, we often do not know whether to laugh, be angry, or be envious of it. We witness these excessive displays of affection performed by couples who have appeared in some movies or television series, and we are disgusted. These are the reasons why we tend to make fun of such couples. Their openness and rawness makes us uncomfortable, as we are all brought up in a society where being conservatively tough is valued the most. It appears much easier to ridicule them than to give in to those longing for such relations. This is one mechanism to keep us from getting dirty and accepting their nakedness by calling them "Nibba-Nibbi.".

This can be explained, from a sociological angle, as the use of a social defense mechanism. When we deride someone about their open display of affection, for example, we may be doing that to conceal our perceived deficit or unsatisfied need.

In explaining the phenomenon, the analyzed psychologist also states that it is necessary to discuss the mental state of these young people. Their self-worth and emotional health conditions are affected adversely by the unending teasing and ridicule.

“Nibba-Nibbi” culture is a theoretical term that describes the different aspects of love, relationships, and affection in the context of our society. For instance, although these young lovebird couples are often easy to ridicule, the need for romantic attention is a common trait in every human being.
It would be very important to consider this issue in a sensitive manner. The teenage and early adulthood stages are characterized by heightened feelings and explorations of oneself. The Nibba-Nibbi phenomenon, despite having its troubles, is simply depicting the lives of youngsters who are trying to find their way in a world that has complex interaction and identity issues.

As responsible adults, we need to be more supportive and instructive rather than derisive and dismissive. Assisting them in recognizing that healthy relationships, built upon respect and trust, should also be appreciated as an important aspect of growth would be one of our contributions.

Then again, instead of making fun of the young couple, could we not pause for a moment and look at our own yearnings and weaknesses? It would, in turn, create an atmosphere that is more understanding and calming, where individuals are free to express their emotions and feelings without any external criticism.


What’s your take on this? Did you happen to come across or witness the “Nibba-Nibbi” phenomenon? Please comment with your thoughts and experiences below. Let’s keep this important discourse going and aim for a more caring and understanding society.


Until next time, stay real and unfiltered.


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